Did I make the right decision?

Earlier this week I spoke with my client who is preparing for bariatric surgery. She mentioned that she finally got a date, her surgery is scheduled for a date in May. I had a twinge of "Did I make the right decision" ....look, she is having the surgery and will soon be losing massive amounts of weight....then she said "I am getting a little scared" and I remembered the feeling of sitting in the doctors office talking to the surgeon and how I could not wait to get out of there and what I have learned about my self since then. I could feel her fear...

I do not know alot about this women but she does mention prayer casually to me at times..she says "pray for me, I am going to do this or that etc..as almost a joke but not quite" I do pray for her when she asks. I couldn't help but think..."what is she going to miss out on in this decision to move forward with the surgery..maybe nothing...maybe this is exactly what the Lord would have her do...that this is her road to freedom after careful prayerful consideration. Will she learn about suffering? Will she learn the depth of Gods love for her...will he give her jewels of wisdom through this and a direction that once taken will give her true freedom from the bondage that we have both been in?

I can not look back, only forward. Even though I have struggled and the weight loss has slowed a bit, I have to trust that I am still on the right path...I am eating sooooo much less than I did even 6 months ago...my body is smaller, I am enjoying looser fitting clothing and a spring in my step!!! The exercise is slowly becoming a part of my daily routing again. I am still on the path that my 40 day search gave me, although, I am still baffled with my love affair with food. I am so much more aware of the lie that I have been believing when it comes to the purpose of food but, I still desire to partake in the distorted way I used to consume it. I guess because it always did provide some type of satisfaction and did fill a need. I keep forgetting to leave an empty space for God to fill with his nourishment.

1Peter 1:14 "As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. Then he goes on to suggest that we try to mimic his own behavior...I think that God continues to ask me to suffer through hunger...to acknowledge the desire to overeat and to make bad food choices and to put those desires on the alter, unfulfilled..in other words, take them to him and let him take them away or fill them with the food that really satisfies a deep hunger.

Even this entry is a gift from God. I had nothing on my mind when I started writing, feeling tired today and crabby...God knew I needed a new little jewel of hope and gave it to me.

I will keep moving toward him and keep moving ahead in this journey...it clearly is the right decision for me.