Day 34 & 35 - The Retreat

Got to the retreat Fri night and yes, was greeted instantly with temptation. They were giving out little bags of candy with our retreat materials...I had to laugh, It was like handing out a small bag of cigarettes or a couple cans of beer sweetly wrapped with a ribbon...here, just in case you are not tempted enough with the mounds of food that will be served this weekend, here is a little tempting snack you can indulge in while in the secret of your own room!!!

Do I sound bitter? I am not, really...I know that this is my personal struggle and most of the world would find this little bag of candy a nice little gesture, as it was meant. I put it in the drawer in my room...ate most of it throughout the weekend. At one point, though, I started eating the lollipop and remembered it tasting so much better than it did at that moment...I ended up throwing it away...not so lucky with the chocolate and the taffy that was in the bag...

Anyway, it was a nice weekend, full of fellowship with my sweet Bridge sisters, great music, excellent teaching...and very good food. I was impressed by the offerings. I made fairly good choices...the desserts were difficult to pass up so I didnt...left a few bites on my plate when I could. The meals didnt end up being a problem...it was the constant table of food in the back of the room. I saw it when I came in..I saw it when I left...I thought about it all day long in each session...I was looking forward and behind at the same time. A couple times I would turn around and catch glimpses of the food...and then, finally indulged a bit when it wore me down.

I was able to stay pretty vigilant and I feel pretty good about my level of control...I was able to keep myself empty enough so that I could hear the words that were being spoken. I was able to keep the "go indulge..it will taste really good" voices at a lower octave than the teaching voices...it did leave me a bit exhausted and spent...

What did I learn? I learned that..I have come far enough to choose to resist the voices of temptation most of the time..but I have also learned that it is really important not to be in environments where the triggers linger...I cant laugh in the face of temptation yet. I have a ways to go yet but I do think that the retreat experience was, for the most part, positive