Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Day 30 - The next step

Wow, I woke up this morning and just felt brighter...maybe its the reflection of all the white snow...can't wait for spring. I read Matthew 10: 26-27 "The Cost of Discipleship" this morning..If anyone does not hate his own life, he can not be my disciple..whoever doesn't carry his cross and follow me can not be my disciple..then he talks about building a tower and "Don't you first sit down and estimate the cost etc..

I am ready to really portion control my meals and make an actual attempt to lose this weight. I feel like I have the tools...the ability and reason to not eat to excess...can I do it? I feel like I spent time figuring the cost so to speak and I have never done that before. I decided to hate my past life and pick up my cross and follow Jesus. He led me in an interesting direction...I ate 2 pieces of toast this morning 4 oz of orange juice and a small bowl of cut up fruit. It was hard, I wanted more...alot more but it was enough to start my day...will this desire for more food ever end? I feel like my expressions yesterday were misleading and that wasn't a clear picture of where I am at...I am still struggling through this...meal by meal...I do, however, feel like instead of just eating what I want, when I want...I am ready to put the new tools and changed heart into real practice and try to change this body...is this wrong...is this desire to step into this kind of discipline a lack of trust...plenty of people diet...I just do not want to do anything that will stop me in my tracks...I want to keep moving ahead.

1 comment: