Day 37 - A recap of yesteday and today

Was I ever wrong!!! Yesterday ended up being a day full of control and restraint..hallelujah! Again, I am seeing a quick bounce back...evidence that I am truly changing...I am choosing a different God to worship and he is a God of mercy...one who knows my every need.

Ate about 2200 calories yesterday...easily...allowed myself to feel hunger at different points throughout the day without immediately trying to get rid of the feeling by eating frantically. I really think that the powers that used to control this area of my life are trying desperately to get me to sink back into old familiar behaviors...even a few months ago...I would have slipped easily back into stuffing myself and eating out of control. I would have said..oh, what's the difference or this will never change o just eat to quiet the temptation really believing that I could not overcome.

40 days to a new perspective...who would have thought. I am sort of keeping a list of foods I eat from day to day and its not a burden..it is a tool...I am choosing to suffer without indulging...this has brought me such clarity and insight...I am identifying aspects of this struggle more clearly than ever before...this is a huge blessing...I am choosing to eat less food and taking control instead of being controlled...this new strength is an amazing gift.

Breakfast is always hard...I really have to suffer through the strong desire to eat in the morning more than most other times....I feel like I could eat 3 times as much as I ate this morning and as I sit here and write...the temptation is very strong.

Read Psalm 121 today...My Help Comes From The Lord...it says "he will not let your foot be moved"..he will "keep my life...my going out and my coming in" I really feel this...especially when I have veered off the path through this 40 day journey...I feel like he is setting me straight again, quickly...he is not missing a beat with me...always being watchful so I do not take a wrong step...I have never felt this incredible support...its always been there for me...I never made the choice to use it...now that I have tasted this morsel of freedom...I can not imagine going back to trying to move mountains in my own strength and wisdom...my "going out" episodes consisted of floundering around...putting my hope in the diet of the moment sucking up mounds of time and money..ending in devastation and despair...now they consist of a small misstep...then large loving hands scooping my up and setting me on the right path again...thank you, Jesus!