Day 24 - Tool building

This is another race to the finish kind of morning. Lots of deadlines on my plate...pressure and stress..still coughing, not sleeping...please pray that I can rise above all of this. I ate a bowl of oatmeal this morning...down to one serving's worth and I feel satisfied. I am still amazed at this...considering I would eat almost 2 servings and other stuff in the morning and still be ravenous some days. I believe that God is continuing to build the tools I need to eat like a thin, healthy individual. I have been struggling with the idea of getting a scale in my home. I have had them in the past but they have always dictated my feelings for the day. Can I have power over the scale too? Maybe, it will have to be a good and accurate one..maybe I should only weigh myself at the doctors each month...having a scale might just force the focus back on food...i don't know the answer to this yet.

So yesterday, I sat down with a breakfast of 3 squares of cornbread and a small bowl of strawberries. I thought to myself..this is probably too much but I took it anyway. I ate most of the strawberries and 4 of the cornbread halves and distinctly heard a voice telling me to stop eating...wrap them up and put in the fridge for later. I wanted to eat the rest...to taste the rest I should say, it was good but I obeyed.

I did alot of driving around yesterday. I stopped at Burger king to get lunch. I was going to get my usual but instead I chose a whopper junior meal and was satisfied with a smaller sandwich. Same with dinner...I really believe that God is really helping me to reinforce behavioral changes. It is getting easier to think about control and restraint as I choose each meal. The finny part of all of this is..even though the restraint and control are coming easier...I still get the trigger messages in my head. I am in the bathroom brushing my teeth and I hear in my head..."you should stop at Weinrichs bakery for some donuts"...on the way to work I hear "you should stop at McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin"...and stop at Starbucks for a Hazelnut latte"...I used to obey alot of these commands in my head...they used to be much stronger...My choice to choose God instead of food is filling me to the point where these suggestions are just a nuisance...I cant wait until they become a laughable reminder of who is in charge...I am not there yet because there is a little part of me that considers each suggestion for a moment or two. I have to actively work against them....More later