Morning - Day 10

Wow, I cant believe 10 days of this journey have passed already. What is interesting to me is that, by now, in any diet of the moment, I have either given up or the routine has become dismal and I about to crash at any moment. I am not feeling that way at all through this journey. Being in exploration mode is energizing. Feel a level of motivation to keep searching like I never have before. I can't wait to see where God takes this with me.

I was speaking with someone about willpower yesterday and they talked about willpower being a muscle. God unleashed his power in my life but I still need to use my willpower to harness his. My willpower muscle was so weak, I didn't stand a chance. Through this exploration, somehow, my willpower is getting stronger. Winning this battle is not only possible, its probable. I always looked at being free from this struggle as the brass ring just out of reach. Of course I could reach it but what were the chances that I would. Its a definite change in perspective and only after 10 days.

Read Matthew 25:31 - 46, the final Judgement. This is where God says, inherit the kingdom you who gave me food and drink and welcomed me and gave me clothes and depart from me you who did none of those things. It occured to me that when I am in the throws of my self-focused eating, I do not want to share. I almost get annoyed when I am eating something and someone askes if they can have a bite. Even if I am not asked, I wouldn't think of offering part of it. I need to continue to loosen my choke hold on food. I need to give it up freely for freedom to come to me. There are so many times when Ken and I eat a meal and afterwards I think. we could have shared 1 meal instead of each eating our own. Sometimes, when I dish out a meal for Ken and I, the larger portion will be the one I take if it is something that I know I will really enjoy. I need to practice control and restraint again...I need to take the lesser portion and be satisfied with it.

Oh, so much to learn and change. I am stopping here to go pack my lunch!